Making fun of the blobfish because it looks ugly after being pulled rapidly out from under tons of water pressure would be like making fun of a human for what they look like after being beaten and burned to near death.

Leave my boi alone ):

Freeeeee birrrrrrd yeaahh (insert guitar riff here)

Me venting my eternal and insatiable yearning for cuddles to my friends for absolutely no reason be like

I don’t know what to put here but Funne

My fatass saw a small assortment of chocolates on the counter of my humble abode, immediately scarfed down one without a semblance of a second thought, and read the microscopic label stating it was alcoholic. Whoopsies.

Noooooo

Hallo, folksies! Here's a lovely word of the year uttered wholeheartedly by yours truly!

Landed on the wrong exoplanet

Now that the Earth is about to finalize a complete revolution around our solar celestial body, we may fire hazardous explosives into the atmosphere, consume intoxicating substances, and engage in other lackadaisical festivities !!