My dad sent this to me yesterday. It is now my phone wallpaper.

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"

Mr Crowbar Man

Install Now

Drew Gordon Freeman! :D

Little quickie I did.

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

Reject UwUdozer, return to Dogezer.

Can somebody please translate this into English?