"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"

Can somebody please translate this into English?

Install Now

Remastered Minecraft skin.

My dad sent this to me yesterday. It is now my phone wallpaper.

Reject UwUdozer, return to Dogezer.

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

I look up LEGO Batman, and what do I see?

THIS.

MASTAHPEECE.

Little quickie I did.