Can somebody please translate this into English?

Remastered Minecraft skin.

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

My dad sent this to me yesterday. It is now my phone wallpaper.

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

Little quickie I did.

I look up LEGO Batman, and what do I see?

THIS.

MASTAHPEECE.

Reject UwUdozer, return to Dogezer.

"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"

Install Now