Can somebody please translate this into English?

"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"

My dad sent this to me yesterday. It is now my phone wallpaper.

Install Now

Reject UwUdozer, return to Dogezer.

Little quickie I did.

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

I look up LEGO Batman, and what do I see?

THIS.

MASTAHPEECE.

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

Remastered Minecraft skin.