Can somebody please translate this into English?

Remastered Minecraft skin.

I look up LEGO Batman, and what do I see?

THIS.

MASTAHPEECE.

Install Now

Reject UwUdozer, return to Dogezer.

Little quickie I did.

My dad sent this to me yesterday. It is now my phone wallpaper.

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"