Can somebody please translate this into English?

Remastered Minecraft skin.

Reject UwUdozer, return to Dogezer.

Little quickie I did.

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

I look up LEGO Batman, and what do I see?

THIS.

MASTAHPEECE.

Install Now

My dad sent this to me yesterday. It is now my phone wallpaper.

"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"

Hi there, care to sign my petition?