Can somebody please translate this into English?

Reject UwUdozer, return to Dogezer.

Little quickie I did.

Install Now

I look up LEGO Batman, and what do I see?

THIS.

MASTAHPEECE.

Remastered Minecraft skin.

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

My dad sent this to me yesterday. It is now my phone wallpaper.

"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"